This past Thursday, I watched The Gospel According to Andre and my takeaway from the documentary was quite simple, the world sees Andre as a person of exuberance.  Andre epitomizes himself as a person of exuberance…that and his impeccable resume in the fashion world is enough to go ignored but, what I viewed was a lonely person.  There are a few moments that brought me to this conclusion but one of them being that Andre speaks about never being in love because his love was devoted to his career.  He also spoke on how he internalized his feelings because his upbringing taught him that feelings and emotions aren’t meant to be expressed especially when there is a job to complete!  Lastly, his peers questioned his choice in clothing not because it was questionable remember, Andre stepping into the fashion world at his tender age wasn’t only a pivotal moment for him but a pivotal moment in fashion expression!  Rather, his peers question that the capes he wore were merely a cover up to what he was hiding on the inside.  Being black in America, we are often taught that even if you are having a bad day, there’s no time to really dwell on those moments because the rent won’t pay itself and it most certainly won’t provide food on the table so for that, I can understand Andre’s reasonings to some of what he does.  But in the wake of this weeks public figure suicides,  I can’t help but to question mental health and the need to not supress.  I feel that taking a “me day” or as most millennials would like to romanticize it as “Self Care Sundays” is just not enough!  As a woman of color who has had to push hard and work even harder because I’m the only person I can rely on when shit really hits the fan, I need more than a mask and some herbal tea to heal that.  When you’re suffering from anxiety that triggers insomnia, you know the havoc it can wreck on your health and that seeking the proper medical attention is crucial.  You know that reading a social media post of “things will be ok” or “you are a goddess and you know it” is not going to mend all things and quite frankly (and I’m speaking for myself) those are the types of post that make me want to log off because it makes it seem like things are easier said then done.  I am far from perfect and I know I have ways to go but, (and here comes my cliche moment makes me want to sign off of my own post moment) I do see the light and I know there are great things ahead!  finding peace and happiness can be a struggle but just know that there is beauty within the struggle.

Posted by:Boulevard no.32

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