April 28, 2018, I woke up unsure of how to go about my day. Usually on this date, I would be wandering the streets of a new city in a country I have never been to before but on April 28 of 2018, I woke up in the city I have been waking up to since last July and began to feel emotional.
You see, April 28 is my birthday and I had started this pleasant and fun ritual of traveling on my birthday but do to unforeseen circumstances, that was not happening this year. I tried my best to get out of my apartment and discover something new. I had intentions of even going to the beach that day but reality set in further as I looked up at the depressing grey skies that triggered my own depression that I was trying to suppress and realize the beaches in Northern California aren’t the most ideal to lay out on when the skies are a hue of sadness! I made my way back to the East Bay in hopes that a visit to Jack London Square would ignite some happeniness but every which way I turned, the streets were bare with the exception of a mini craft fair that was taking place…I was beginning to feel hopeless and…
I was officially over my birthday and decided to head home!
This day was filled with both loneliness and frustration. Depression and anger. I decided that April 28, 2018 needed a funeral of some sorts because I needed to bury the memory of yesterday yet keep it as a reminder that I am my biggest challenge. Things could’ve gone different yesterday if I would just change the way I act…key word act and not just think and dream of the possibilities but more importantly ACT on the things that I want to achieve! Yesterday could’ve been an entirely different day and yes, I will bury it but remind myself that that was the first and last terrible birthday I will have!