A huge part of me wanted to coin this ‘Bey and Chill’ or ‘What Would Beyonce Do’ after watching her monumental performance at Coachella and I can tell you one thing, Beyonce would put her talent and creativity to good use!  But these thoughts have been festering for some time now and really touched a soft spot after I attended an event at the VSCO headquarters!

Now, before I get into those thoughts, Slow Sunday’s on the boulevard used to consist of how I would spend my well, slow Sunday and I will still share that snippet of me because I do feel that people connect with people but, I am human and my mind is constantly in heavy rotation of thoughts, fears, ideas and it feels only right to share on the platform that I am the most comfortable with…my beloved boulevard.

Okay, back to VSCO…I attended an event back in early March hosted by VSCO and Anxy Magazine discussing anxiety and the creative process and it put things into perspective in terms of creativity,  which is to just be your authentic self!  Don’t worry about how others are creating their own platforms, don’t worry about where you are at because if you want success, you need to work extremely hard for it and most importantly, DO NOT worry about the likes or the followers because that does not dictate where you are heading in your process.  But as great as the stories I was hearing from the three panelists, I still couldn’t help but look around the audience and notice most of the crowd were in their twenties.  I don’t want to sound like a bitter 30 something year old women but my insecurities were flying high!  I started to feel exposed after the event was over and my anxiety (so appropriate that the event was based on mental health) started to suffocate me that I left…no networking opportunities were involved.  I often times get frustrated looking at “millennials” because I feel like they have everything at their fingertips and they don’t know what to do with it (yes, I know I sound bitter…let me be for 2.5 seconds) but I also feel there are really amazing talented people out there regardless of age and me allowing my fears and insecurities to get the best of me are going to have me missing out on some great opportunities or just meeting great people in general.  Sometimes I feel so socially awkward that it kills me!  I’m like, who is this person because she knows how to talk and communicate, I work in an environment where I talk to people on a daily for goodness sake!

To sum this up because I can go on and on, I’m not Beyonce but, we can all strive; regardless of our situations, age, mental health etc. to get on the level we have always wanted to be…we can always have that ‘Bey Ambition’!  I know for me, it’s to start getting involved with like minded activities where I can meet and connect with individuals and hopefully my insecurities will not hinder me from living and enjoying.

P.S, this is a great read from Kyndacee that you should definitely click and read!

FEAR

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Posted by:Boulevard no.32

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